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28th August - 4th September 2012: A Week In Trailers

Last week was a fantastic week for trailers, so without further ado, set some time aside and watch these tasty eye morsels!

Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Hearthfire

The Hearthfire DLC will let you make your own house and fill it with books, mudcrabs and adopted children. This trailer was so lovely I HAD to watch it whilst cuddling something... Hold me.


Assassin's Creed 3 - Naval Warfare

It's about naval warfare, and contains the words "master and commander". Its story checks out.



Need For Speed: Most Wanted - Burnout Paradise 2 Gameplay

This thing is so Burnout Paradise 2 it's almost ridiculous... and fucking awesome! I am gonna play this, and I suspect I am going to enjoy it more than a little bit.



Farcry 3 - Damn Nature! You Scary!

Learn some survival skills from the locals, do a little hang gliding and OH FUCK SHIT A FUCKING TIGER FUCK! I dunno if I can handle a game where I can get stalked through the jungle by a cunting tiger. Fuck that. Fuck it in the eye.



LocoCycle - Reveal Trailer

From the makers of 'Splosion Man comes the greatest game ever made? It certainly looks it from this trailer. The thing I love most about it? Fuck context, deal with this motherfucking bike dragging a poor bastard along the ground and then air combo'ing guys wearing jetpacks. I mean, 'Splosion Man was hardly reserved, but my god! Is this Mila Kunis naked, or is it the open Ark of the Covenant? I somehow hope it's both. If this looks appealing to you (and it does) there's another trailer lower down the page which will have orgasmic fluids shooting out of you every which way, endlessly. You have been warned.



Dance Central 3 - Story Mode

It's ballsy to take a winning formula and take it to the weirdest place you possibly can, but the ever-so fine folks over at Harmonix have decided to do just that. If you like time travel stories about dance dictators then this will be the game for you, and you don't like those things? Then you probably just need to re-read that combination of things again and take a moment to absorb to genius of it. I may not play it, but I want to. Oh my goodness do I ever want to!


Borderlands 2 - Everything You Would Ever Need To Know

as if I weren't excited enough for Borderlands 2, this trailer comes along and blows my mind back into itself forming some kind of brain-flavoured black hole. If you wanna know how any of the game's systems work, this trailer's got you covered in every possible way. If watching this doesn't get your mouth watering then, chances are, you have no mouth.



Super Time Force - A Trailer That Has Everything

I'm not 100% sure what this is, but it's incredible. Watch it twice, twice.



Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zero - Debut Trailer

I admit to not being a Metal Gear guy, and I also admit to not understanding any of what this is about or why anything that happens in it  happens at all, but what I do know, is that those are some might nice wet textures! The kind of textures you just wanna take back to your hotel room and have a filthy, dirty look at. Ignore me, I'm clearly going through something here...


And Finally...

More LocoCycle!!! - T-1000 As A Talking Bike

Yes, seriously. The fucking dude from terminator 2 voices one of the bikes in this game. Sit there and think about that for a second... The fucking T-1000 is the voice of a bike in a game where the talking bikes fight other bikes while they drag a guy behind them and make Die Hard references. It's the pinnacle. We've mastered the technology and realised it to its full potential. Bask in the warm glow of the greatest game ever conceived, created and then made into a trailer: LocoCycle... We're in for something special.



Reader Comments (1)

Fuck me September 18th is gonna be amazing! Really like the look of LocoCycle too.

September 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKENZI199

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