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Tuesday
Jan082013

3DS Titles Pokemon X And Y Announced For October 2013. Fully 3D Graphics. Mental.

Well, imagine my surprise to get home from work and see this nugget of news floating around! Not only are we getting new Pokemon games (not a huge deal on its own) but these will be the first ever full Pokemon games to be presented with full 3D graphics! Titles like Pokemon Stadium and Pokemon Snap have, in the past, offered a gameplay experience featuring 3D Pokemon models but never before have the core games in the series been 3D. These aren't sprites, these are fucking MODELS, with fucking polygons and shit!

The gameplay looks exceptionally Pokemonish, running through long grass to discover new Pokemon, "Pikachu, I choose you!" and all that good stuff, and though some of the camera angles look very restrictive on what you can actually see happening, the character models actually looks super nice, considering the size of the 3DS screen in comparison to a monitor, I think this thing is gonna look super pretty. On the downside though, Nintendo continue to show how inept they've become at designing new Pokemon. Seriously guys, do we really need ANOTHER toad pokemon? A pathetic Vulpix clone? 2 more SUPERFLUOUS AS FUCK legendary dragons? No, we fucking don't. Don't waste energy on new inbred-looking Pokemon and focus on giving us new and amazing ways to use the ones we already have. The day we reach 1000 Pokemon is probably the day we watch our 'Chairough' evolve into a 'Sofarocious', and also coincidently, the day I chainsaw myself to death horribly whilst using blood magic to curse you all to the 9th circle of hell.

Please don't use those fucking chair-based pokemon I just invented, for the love of god just... don't.

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